Even though I’ve been through this before, I still felt intimidated when I went into the office. It was quiet and I arrived just in time after getting lost a few times and nearly having a panic attack that I would miss the first opportunity I scheduled to improve myself. Waiting in the room outside, I could hear murmurings inside the counselors office. I took advantage of some reading paraphernalia in the office…but I guess I wasn’t really absorbing it.
She came out to greet me after 15 minutes and handed me some paperwork I needed to fill out. Having brought a friend there before, I already knew what it all said. I signed where I needed to sign and gave her my insurance cards. She came back with them and told me to come in and relax in her office and finish the paperwork there. Because she was new to me, I wasn’t sure what to expect.
We started off with my health. How was I? What did I think was wrong? How was my diet? How about sleep patterns? Who was in my family? What did I think of them? And then, what were some of my more painful memories? She didn’t ask it directly, but I couldn’t avoid talking about it. I tried very hard not to cry and succeeded in not having tears, but I did feel choked up and I couldn’t look at her a lot of the time.
One life-spilling later, I paid her, walked to my car, sat inside, and gave the longest sigh of my life.
I have a LOT of work to do.
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